Only Trying To Help
Friday, June 26, 2009

The whole world is in a tizzy over Michael Jackson's death but perhaps no company more so than concert promoters AEG Live. The company, which booked Jackson to play 50 concerts at London's 02 Arena, now stands to lose hundreds of millions unless they find another act to play Jackson's dates.

This is where I thought I could be of some help. Hence, an open letter to AEG Live:

Dear AEG Live,

Allow me to first offer my condolences for the untimely demise of your marquee attraction and hoped for cash cow, Michael Jackson.

I understand you are facing financial ruin due to your investment in his upcoming concert appearances in London. Please let me be the first to humbly offer my services to you as musician and performer. I can fill all or some of the dates that have come open due to Mr. Jackson's unexpected death.

I would perform either as a solo artist or, for a slightly larger fee, with a rock ensemble of my choosing. (The latter would free me up to do more dance moves, an approximation of but by no means a duplication of Jackson's own.)

On the subject of fees, I'm sure you will find mine very consistent with your newly compromised budget. Though my draw would likely be (exponentially?) less than Jackson's, so would my salary.

Additionally, unlike Mr. Jackson, I would not require you to keep on retainer top-notch defense lawyers, cooks, masseuses, backup dancers, primate veterinarians, handlers, child-care specialists, plastic surgeons, therapists, an entourage, Elizabeth Taylor or Tito Jackson. My only requirements would be transatlantic airfare, lodging and a per diem for meals.

Did I mention that I should have a new album coming out this fall? I expect that to boost my concert attendance by an average of .2 persons per show or approximately one whole additional paying customer every ten shows!

I know you are in a bind and being of a certain political persuasion, I cannot help but feel empathy at any major corporation in financial distress.

If you would find it advantageous to substitute me for the late Michael Jackson, please do not hesitate to call or write.

Should you desire to see and hear my performance before booking me for such a high-profile series of shows, I will be playing happy hour at Banjo Jim's on the corner of East 9th Street and Avenue C in New York City every Friday in the month of July from 7 p.m. to 8 p.m.

Admission to Banjo Jim's is free which, if I'm scheduled to play London's O2 Arena, will be the last time for quite a while anyone will be able to see me for that price!

I sincerely look forward to working with you.

Yours truly,
Nate Schweber

3 comments

Thriller?
Thursday, June 25, 2009

Wow, bizarre news about Michael Jackson.

Does this mean he really gets to come back like this now?

0 comments

Super Adventure Montana Plus
Saturday, June 20, 2009

That's what my friend Jessica Lowry said when I met her on the West Side of Glacier National Park last week and regaled her with tales of the epic travels on which I'd dragged sweet Kristen.

I wanted to share with you some pix of our Super Adventure Montana Plus and I've organized it into six categories, all beginning with "F." Friends, family, flora, fauna, fish and fun.

Hope you enjoy it a fraction as much as I did.

#1: Friends.
Kristen, me, Lido, Jessica & Brendan. Bowman Lake, Glacier National Park. June 13, 2009

Lido at the barbecue, Whitefish, MT

Me & my buddy Brendan, Union Club, Missoula, MT

With banjo picker/troutguide extraordinaire Jack Mauer of Wapiti Waters.

Kristen & Jack.



#2 Family:
My mom and Andre the cat (which everybody calls "Tuna" for some reason I'll never understand)
My stepfather, Bill

My sister, Erin

Shootin' sis.

Bill, Erin & Kristen inspecting the carnage.
Scout, Kristen


#3 Flora (the wildflower crop in Montana this spring was awesome):
Indian Paintbrush

Fairy Slipper, Camas Valley, Glacier National Park

Bitterroots!
Atop Howe Ridge, Glacier National Park




#4 Fauna:
Buffalo, National Bison Range, Mission Valley, MT June 5, 2009

Two moose, Glacier National Park, June 9, 2009

Moose, Whitetail Deer, Glacier Park. June 8, 2009

Loon?

Loon!

Pronghorn Antelope, Bison Range

Chipmunk, Glacier

Skeeters! Arrow Lake, Glacier National Park.


#5 Fish!
Kristen's Glacier Cutthroat

Nate's Glacier Cutthroat

Brook Trout, Lost Lake, Glacier National Park

Fish on! Trout Lake, Glacier National Park.

With a nice Westslope Cutthroat, Bitterroot River (while being guided by Jack Mauer of Wapiti Waters)

Bigger fun that it was big. Kristen's rainbow trout, Bitterroot River, June 14, 2009

Another Bitterroot River cutthroat.

Nice Bitterroot 'bow!


#5.1 Fish part II:
Like a couple of New Yorkers, we went into the backcountry not sure we brought enough food. Hence...
Trout on a stick!

Sorry little guys...

Best backcountry dinner ever!



#6 Fun
Bear hug.

Bears? Puh-lease.

Bear country!

Prerequisite scenery shot, June 12, 2009

Avalanche Lake, Glacier National Park, June 9, 2009

Terror in the Tent!

Trout Lake, Glacier National Park, June 10, 2009

Climbing over avalanches, Camas Valley, Glacier National Park, June 10, 2009

Heaven's Peak, Kristen, Glacier National Park, June 10, 2009

Arrow Lake, Glacier National Park, June 10, 2009

The hike out.

Kristen, end of the hike, letting Howe Ridge know exactly what she thought of it.

Fishin' in style! On a Wapiti Waters guided trip, Bitterroot River, June 14, 2009

Kristen on the Bitterroot, June 14, 2009

Yo ho-ho.

Kristen & the Clearwater Cow

My favorite tiny town on earth, Polebridge, MT, June 13, 2009

Sunset on the North Fork of the Flathead River, near Polebridge, MT, June 12, 2009


(Photo credit, Jessica Lowry. Thanks Jessica.)

2 comments